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A New Level (Live) - Pantera |
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Yeah you read right, I'm finally going to put something substantial in here and not just a meme or a random one-liner or a locked post to someone on my friends list. It's something I've had on my to-do list for a little while and since AIM is dead and I have nothing else to do I figured now seems as good a time as any to give it a go. I warn you though I may well ramble, when I'm stuck for things to do my mind often wanders, I only hope that if that happens what I write makes sense.
I'll start with the personal stuff since that's where most things are going on for me at the moment, I'm feeling really good and positive about stuff right now and I'm determined to make sure that continues throughout the year. I'm realistic, I know there'll be bumps along the way but I also know that I can get around them even if it takes a bit of doing. On that note I'm well on the way to proving all the physiotherapists etc who wrote me off over the past year or eighteen months by saying I wouldn't be able to use public transport again or walk to the parade of shops not far from my house. I'm doing it - the using of buses will take a bit of time but that's more because I have to build up the confidence and self - belief to do it alone and know I'll be ok.
Whenever I talk about stuff pertaining to my disability, whether it's in here, to family, friends or someone I've just met I always feel a little strange, not because I'm ashamed of it or myself - I'm over that part now 99.99% of the time but because something like taking a bus is something a lot of people don't even think about, it's just something they do you know? So when I get all hyper about managing to come home on a bus after a trip to see a movie just feels odd. *Chuckles* I didn't explain that well did I, but what the hell. That said it is nice to not have to explain it and have some people just know and ride along with me in my hyperness, it doesn't happen with more than a handful of people but it's awesome when it does and it's that more than anything that stays with me.
Tomorrow, uhh today for me I'm cooking chilli with my occupational therapist, I don't consider myself a terrible cook since I can do pasta sauces and stuff like that but I'm not good either. A lot of that is probably due to the fact that I'm still living with my Mum and she not only loves cooking but is very proud of her kitchen and the stuff she creates in it so it's easier, more convienient and all that other stuff to just kick back and let her take care of it. Except that I don't want to do that anymore, well not all the time. I'd like to to be able to cook something for her every now and then, to show my appreciation of her especially after she's had a long or hard day. As if that weren't enough I don't want to be living in the same house as my Mum forever so she needs to be shown I won't die of starvation! LOL I'm excited though, it's not often I get to create in the kitchen, I just hope it tastes good!
Hmm, what else? Oh yeah I'm managing to keep up a lot better with the gym than the last time I was a member of one and I know that it's having a big impact on my confidence but also it's helping me physically. I'm not after big muscles or even to lose weight because I'm about right there, really I'm just increasing my stamina and balance mostly and I'm seeing the benefits so it helps me keep going. I'm gonna have to talk to them about adding in a little variety though, although I'm not sure what yet because the other equipment I've tried I can't really use at the moment. Truth is I'm a little bored though and I don't want that to affect my motivation, even if it's just adding a few little hills to what I do on the recumbent bike I'll be happy. Speaking of all things gym related I need a new swimming costume as soon as possible, I'm starting to crave a dip in the pool again and the steam room, jacuzzi or sauna as a reward afterwards ain't half bad either. ;)
I'm still unemployed but I'm not in any incredible rush to find another job, for a number of reasons one being that my last two jobs (both in call centres which I will never do again) were taken in a rush because I just was that desperate to work and was really happy about getting a break and being offered them. In the end though they weren't right for me and led to bouts of depression both times as a result. Next time will be different because I won't be looking on my own for starters, I'll have a Disability Employment Advisor making sure I find the right opportunity and that I don't get shafted, bullied, ripped off or anything of the sort when I'm there. Who knows I might make C.E.O one day ;)!
In the meantime I'm hoping to get accepted to volunteer in some capacity at my local Citizens Advice Bureau, I'd like to be an advisor so that I can help people sort out issues they have such as resolving debt or disputes with neighbours or whatever they may be but I'd be happy doing administrative/reception work too since both of those are types of jobs I'd be interested in getting paid to do in the long run so it'll be good experience. I'm not going to rush the form though, because that's when mistakes get made and anyway things are a little hectic time wise at the moment with the appointments I have and I don't want to feel burnt out. I'm aiming for May/June to start assuming I'm accepted since I couldn't make any dates before that anyway because they all clash/ed with something else.
The only sort of negative thing looming at the moment is that my Mum's work have told her that they might all be being made redundant because their project is no longer being funded and if that happens we might have to sell the house and move somewhere smaller within the same area. Neither of us want that if we can help it, I've lived where we are all my life and I'm VERY attached to this house but if it happens it happens. The one thing I know? We'll be ok whatever happens and that's really all I need right now, worrying about it isn't going to get us anywhere anyway and we don't know anything yet anyway. It's a possibility they could get more funding from somewhere else at the last minute - it happened last year after all.
Oooh ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stepharoony has planted the seed of going to Mania in '09 well and truly in my brain now and damnit I'm going to try save up enough however hard it is. I have some money saved up in a savings account so I'm going to keep adding to that and see where I'm at various intervals this year and try to predict how much I'll have come next April. If I can do it I will and I think crazilyobsessed is saving too so yeah if it works out it'll be great. Really though it's a watch this space and wait and see though because it could go either way. If I get a job though it won't be as hard because I'll have more money to save..
This feels like it's getting pretty long so ( i'll put gaming related stuff under here )
I'm sure I'll think of other things I wanted to say once I hit post but I'm hitting the button to post before I do because I think I've said enough for one entry.
EDIT: stepharoony, I have a proposition for you, I'm hoping to be on AIM around 3pm UK time for most of the evening aside from breaking for dinner etc so hopefully I will catch you at some point but if not I shall leave you a locked post in this journal. :)
EDIT #2: Bad news - my Mum now knows she won't have a job at the end of April. Good news - (sort of) in the short term we won't have to move, the long term is still uncertain but that's always the case really because very few things in life are. I've still got everything crossed it won't have to be considered and if it ever does happen it's because we want it to and not because we have to.
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